STS Corvette Forum

vett boy · vett boy

anyone here ?

ffas23 · ffas23

Rumor has it that Anthony Weiner is going to run for president. He has chosen attorney general Eric Holder as his running mate. Get your Weiner-Holder bumper stickers early, before they are all gone.

ffas23 · ffas23

An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the Trainer in the gym, "I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?" The trainer replied, "Use the ATM machine outside the gym!"

ffas23 · ffas23

The Italian Virginity Test Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin. His doctor says, "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit - A small can of red paint, a smal...

kensmith · kensmith

TWO GUYS AT HOME DEPOT LOOKING FOR THEIR WIVES Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy sa...

ffas23 · ffas23

The Vasectomy A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure the nurse comes in and take his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and cl...

ffas23 · ffas23

Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.

Lou G · Lou G

If you have a job sitting in front of a computer all day, you may not be getting enough exercise. If you don't want to spend the money for those fancy exercise machines, here is a little secret for building arm and shoulder muscles. Begin by standing with a five pound potato sack in each hand. Extend your a...

ffas23 · ffas23

MY PRIVATE PART DIED An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong, 'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace. 'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.' Knowing her patients were a little forgetf...

Lou G · Lou G

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road he floored it to 80 mph enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. 'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-45 pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirr...

vett boy · vett boy

When I was a high school youngster in Northern Maine ya had a Hemi or a Honda 50 .A friend of mine, David had a Honda .Once in awhile during the summer we'd find a skunk .Being the back rider it was my job to pick a skunk up by the tail without getting sprayed .David would ride down main st and I'd lob the skunk in...

Mr.Muffler · Mr.Muffler

Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ...

Mr.Muffler · Mr.Muffler

Image.jpg (14KB); Image.jpg (9KB); Image.jpg (7KB); Image.jpg (6KB) Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives: 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of thin...

Mr.Muffler · Mr.Muffler

Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington . He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and sai...

ffas23 · ffas23

RETIREMENT BONUS The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two...

Mr.Muffler · Mr.Muffler

When Regan was president we had Bob Hope and Jonny Cash. Now that Obama is president we have no hope and no cash

Mr.Muffler · Mr.Muffler

The 'Perfect Password' A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the sho...

Mr.Muffler · Mr.Muffler

The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse! You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment !...

zathrus · zathrus

No offense Speedie Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the produ...

kensmith · kensmith

For all those guys who are King....................... Until their wife gets home. Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie. "And how did this one end?" &q...

ffas23 · ffas23

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: Emma come first. De...

Topic		Started By	Replies	Views	Last Post
	Knock Knock (Preview) anyone here ?	vett boy	0	1352	Nov 4 7:19 PM, 2015 by vett boy
	HeHeHeHeHe (Preview) Rumor has it that Anthony Weiner is going to run for president. He has chosen attorney general Eric Holder as his running mate. Get your Weiner-Holder bumper stickers early, before they are all gone.	ffas23	2	1622	Jul 4 8:12 PM, 2012 by kensmith
	The GYM (Preview) An older man, not in the best physical condition, asked the Trainer in the gym, "I want to impress that beautiful girl. Which machine should I use?" The trainer replied, "Use the ATM machine outside the gym!"	ffas23	1	1498	May 18 11:57 AM, 2011 by kensmith
	The Italian Virginity Test (Preview) The Italian Virginity Test Mario is planning to marry and asks his family doctor how he could tell if his bride-to-be is still a virgin. His doctor says, "Mario, all the Italian men I know use three things for what we call a Do-It-Yourself Virginity Test Kit - A small can of red paint, a smal...	ffas23	1	1545	Mar 7 9:48 PM, 2011 by kensmith
	Home Depot (Preview) TWO GUYS AT HOME DEPOT LOOKING FOR THEIR WIVES Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their carts around Home Depot when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that. I'm looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn't paying attention to where I was going." The young guy sa...	kensmith	2	1544	Jan 25 9:23 PM, 2011 by Mr.Muffler
	The Vasectomy (Preview) The Vasectomy A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure the nurse comes in and take his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and cl...	ffas23	2	1556	Jan 9 4:46 PM, 2011 by vett boy
	McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? (Preview) Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal? Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.	ffas23	0	2123	Nov 29 1:13 AM, 2010 by ffas23
	New fExercise Method (Preview) If you have a job sitting in front of a computer all day, you may not be getting enough exercise. If you don't want to spend the money for those fancy exercise machines, here is a little secret for building arm and shoulder muscles. Begin by standing with a five pound potato sack in each hand. Extend your a...	Lou G	3	1594	Oct 13 10:27 AM, 2010 by kensmith
	MY PRIVATE PART DIED (Preview) MY PRIVATE PART DIED An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home. One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed. Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong, 'Yes, Nurse Tracy ,' said Mr. Wallace. 'My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.' Knowing her patients were a little forgetf...	ffas23	3	1658	Oct 12 7:06 PM, 2010 by vett boy
	State Trooper (Preview) A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road he floored it to 80 mph enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. 'Amazing,' he thought as he flew down I-45 pushing the pedal even more. Looking in his rear view mirr...	Lou G	4	1785	Oct 2 9:29 PM, 2010 by Speedie
	True story ,Junkies favorite --skunk tossin' (Preview) When I was a high school youngster in Northern Maine ya had a Hemi or a Honda 50 .A friend of mine, David had a Honda .Once in awhile during the summer we'd find a skunk .Being the back rider it was my job to pick a skunk up by the tail without getting sprayed .David would ride down main st and I'd lob the skunk in...	vett boy	2	1728	Aug 7 7:17 AM, 2010 by vett boy
	A Tall Tail at The Zoo (Preview) Zookeeper Friedrich Riesfeldt (Paderborn, Germany) fed his constipated elephant 22 doses of animal laxative and more than a bushel of berries, figs and prunes before the plugged-up pachyderm finally got relief. Investigators say ill-fated Friedrich, 46, was attempting to give the ...	Mr.Muffler	1	1550	Aug 6 5:34 AM, 2010 by vett boy
	Now I know Why I LOVE MY DOG (Preview) Image.jpg (14KB); Image.jpg (9KB); Image.jpg (7KB); Image.jpg (6KB) Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives: 1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of thin...	Mr.Muffler	2	1639	Jul 18 10:44 AM, 2010 by kensmith
	KNOW MY **** (Preview) Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington . He turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and sai...	Mr.Muffler	0	1392	Jun 5 7:28 PM, 2010 by Mr.Muffler
	YA CAN'T OUTWIT THE "OLD NAVY CHIEF" (Preview) RETIREMENT BONUS The Navy found they had too many officers and decided to offer an early retirement bonus. They promised any officer who volunteered for Retirement a bonus of $1,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any Two points in his body.. The officer got to choose what those two...	ffas23	1	1544	Jun 5 7:27 PM, 2010 by Mr.Muffler
	HOPE & CASH (Preview) When Regan was president we had Bob Hope and Jonny Cash. Now that Obama is president we have no hope and no cash	Mr.Muffler	0	1458	Jun 4 7:52 PM, 2010 by Mr.Muffler
	Password (Preview) The 'Perfect Password' A woman was helping her husband set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, the computer advised him that he would now need to enter a password. Something he will use to log on. The husband was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the sho...	Mr.Muffler	4	1715	Jun 2 8:56 PM, 2010 by Speedie
	Ten Comandments (Preview) The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse! You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and "Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians! It creates a hostile work environment !...	Mr.Muffler	2	1553	Apr 22 9:02 PM, 2010 by Speedie
	Husband Store, (Preview) No offense Speedie Husband Store A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the produ...	zathrus	3	1438	Feb 7 9:09 AM, 2010 by vett boy
	King of his castle (Preview) For all those guys who are King....................... Until their wife gets home. Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman." "Oh yeah?" said Charlie. "And how did this one end?" &q...	kensmith	5	1889	Nov 1 7:30 PM, 2009 by Speedie
	NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH (Preview) NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following: Emma come first. De...	ffas23	11	2367	Oct 28 8:20 PM, 2009 by Speedie
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